Self-awareness and care are essential to an effective approach to conflict management. The more I am aware of my own biases and "hot buttons," the more likely I can prepare myself mentally, emotionally and physically to respond in a preferred way. In addition, if I take good care of myself by exercising, eating properly and getting adequate sleep, that can help me listen well and clearly express my needs in attempting to work out a solution to the conflict.

A few questions I can ask myself include:

• What are some behaviors by other people that tend to be difficult for me to handle during conflict? How do I tend to respond when confronting such behaviors? How would I prefer to respond?
  
• What are some things that I can do for myself that help me develop a more personally affirming environment… in other words, how can I treat myself with respect, so I can draw on that energy in times of stress?
  
• Usually, we know people (friends, co-workers, supervisors) who we trust to "tell us like it is" when we are having a difficult time. Are there people in my work (or personal) environment that can help me stay "on track" in these situations?

We all have different ways of responding to conflicts, and those responses lead to understandable consequences. These responses include our behaviors, feelings, thoughts, and physical reactions. If you are interested in learning more about how you respond to conflict, you can take the Situational Conflict Styles Assessment Exercise at this site. We can answer any other questions you may have about how different responses lead to certain outcomes.

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